After The Fact
by overnight428
Summary: Forgiveness isn't easy, John thinks. One shot and Sequel to Because It Happened, John's POV as he tries to comes to terms with what he did a few weeks ago. Dean/16 Sam/12


"What have you done?"

The words bring John Winchester's eyes up from where he'd been looking down at the table in Bobby's kitchen.

"What?" John asks, looking up at the older hunter that's standing in front of him.

Bobby lets out a breath and nods towards the window. "Something is off with you and the boys."

John can see through the window at Sam walking around the salvage yard. Dean is leaning against one of the old cars, watching over him. The snow is light on the ground, but it's enough to make footprints in, which John thinks that's what Sam is doing.

John turns back to look at Bobby. "They're fine."

"Bullshit."

John rolls his eyes and takes a swig of the bottle of beer that's in his hand. The taste brings him back to a few weeks ago, the anniversary of Mary's death, the same night he had come home drunk and pulled Sam's shoulder out of it's socket. It makes him wince to think about it, but he's not going to go and tell Bobby about it. Why would he? He had apologized to both Sam and Dean for it and everything had been fine

But he can still remember the look on Dean's face the morning after it happened. The anger, the way he had threatened John. Dean was still mad at hime. He was still doing everything John told him to do, but the way he looked at him was different now.

Forgiveness isn't easy, John thinks.

"It's mainly Dean I'm wondering about," Bobby goes on saying, walking towards the window. "He has a hard time looking you in the eyes. Did something happen?"

John closes his eyes for a moment, then shakes his head and slams the empty bottle down onto the table. "No, not that its any of your business."

John gets up and heads for the door, grabbing his jacket off the couch. He is not going to sit here and be accused of anything. He's just not.

"John," Bobby starts, but he's already out the door.

The frigid air bites at him as he walks out onto the porch and down the steps. His feet crunch in the snow, and he takes in a deep breath as he looks for his boys. They're standing in the same spot they were in a few minutes ago. Dean reaches over and tugs Sam's hat down over his ears.

"Dean!" Sam whines, slapping at his hands. "Stop!"

"Well don't come crying to me when you get a double ear infection," Dean says, holding his hands up.

John hears the door behing him shut and he looks back to see Bobby standing on the porch, looking at him, then at the boys.

No. He's not doing this again.

"Boys!" John yells, fishing for his keys in his pocket. Sam and Dean both look up at him, then come sprinting over.

"We need to find a motel," John says to Dean.

"But I thought we were staying with Bobby for a few days!" Sam all but whines when he hears of John's new plan.

"Bobby's having company, and we need to look for a new case."

John can feel the hard stare on his back as soon as the words come out of his mouth.

Dean gives him the same look, but finally nods his head a little.

"But-"

"Quiet, Sammy," Dean warns, and Sam's mouth instantly shuts.

Funny, John thinks, he can never get Sam to be quiet when he needs him to.

"Let's go," John says, heading towards the car. Before he can get too far, Dean puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Maybe I should drive," Dean offers, holding his hand out for the keys. John hesitates for a second, then hands them over. Sam's gone from their side, but John finds him on the porch saying goodbye to Bobby. Dean waves at him, then yells for Sam to come on.

Sam hangs his head before doing as he's told and walking towards the impala. Before John can follow, Bobby is coming down the steps.

"John, whatever is going on in that head of yours, do NOT take it out on those boys."

"Mind your own business," John warns, holding a finger up. "They're my kids, not yours. I don't need your input on how to raise them."

"You need something."

John ignores that and turns and heads back towards the car. When he gets inside the passenger seat, he notices Sam is sulking in the back, which is typical.

"Sammy, can you pout any louder?" John asks, trying to get a smile out of his youngest. Dean casts a glance over at him when he says it, before adjusting the mirrors and pulling out of Bobby's yard.

All Sam does is let out a sigh.

Dean manages to get Sam out of his sulking. They talk, while John rests his head against the window for a moment while trying to find a motel to crash at for the night. Damn Bobby Singer for putting his nose where it don't belong.

"Look at that one," Sam comments, making the two older hunters look through the drivers side window.

Someone's house is completely lit up in christmas lights. With the sun setting, you can see every detail and every single light lit up.

"Yeah," Dean says.

John forgets Christmas is in a few weeks. It's really just another day to him. Maybe one day it won't be just another day. When they kill the thing that killed Mary, maybe John can have some peace and enjoy life.

Maybe, he thinks.

He glances over at Dean, then at Sam who's dozing off in the backseat. When he knows Sam is asleep, he clears his throat.

"I'm a good father," He says, not bothering to look up at Dean.

He hears Dean grunt, and John has already told himself he's not going to defend himself to anyone.

"When you want to be," Dean mutters, then reaches over and turns the music up before John can say anything.

And then there's nothing else to say, John thinks.

The worst has already been said.

End.

 _After this whole idea popped into my head, I wonder if I should continue on with this story line. Any ideas are welcome, or telling me it should be left here is fine too. I hope you all enjoyed this follow up :)_


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